…That explains a lot.

As much as I hate to admit it, I’ve always been a terribly anxious person. I worry, I fret, and was a dedicated nail biter for most of my childhood. And after twenty-four years of this roller coaster ride that is my life, I’ve finally discovered what it is that may be triggering all of my unnecessary anxiety: The love I have for film.

I’ve always been one to show tremendous interest towards cinema and entertainment, and according to this new article by The Guardian, anxiety “has always been woven into the fabric of filmmaking.” Hence, film (and film scripts), as an aesthetic and an arts medium, can actually help people gain further understanding of anxiety as a clinical condition.

In fact, the topic of anxiety takes center stage this month at Anxiety 2014, a new London-wide arts festival that will explore anxiety, look at its causes, how it affects our lives, and how it can act as the ultimate creative force. Bringing together leading and emerging artists to address anxiety from different angles and viewpoints– whether medical, social and historical or individual, collective and contemporary– ‘Anxiety 2014,’ according to Festival Director Errol Francis, promises to “look at the a80d1316427feeadc202fb9c30d42448relationship between anxiety and modernity and how feeling anxious has become part of our contemporary condition.”

Well that right there lifts a giant weight off of my shoulders, as I, for many many years of my life, have often struggled with the question of why it is I think the way I do; do the things I do sometimes; worry about even the most minuscule of details oh so much? It’s been a bad ‘habit’ I’ve been trying to shed, one that I’ve always been scolded for, and honestly, it makes me feel a little better knowing that maybe it isn’t all just me.

For as film curator Jonathan Keane so boldly puts it, “The history of film is the history of anxiety.” Well, to put it lightly, the history of Pamela C. is as well– and probably will be continue to be. All I can do is learn new ways to understand it, to tackle it, to channel it, to use it for creative good. Bring. It. On.

-PC 

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